Regional Differences for Mr Fountain

North/South Divide:

As illustrated in the 1998 film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, there is a "Northern Monkey / Southern Fairy" divide within England. Broadly speaking, the people of the north are perceived by their southern cousins as being uncivilised, while the people of the north view southerners as being soft, perhaps decadent pansies2.

There is also an economic divide between North and South, with the south (particularly around London), being perceived as rich, and the north, especially in areas where the local economy relies heavily on primary and secondary industry (acquisition of raw materials, manufacturing, etc.), as being poor. Prime Minister Tony Blair stated in 1999 that there existed no such divide, and that the only social divide was purely based in economics rather than geography, when he went on a two day tour of the north west of England. Statistics, however, are not always on his side. This graph shows the difference in price of property in York, Yorkshire and London. At the time of writing, the average house in London will cost you almost twice what you would've paid out in York. If you're looking for a detached house in London, the average cost is £724,374, compared to a mere £156,431 in York. Comparing London to a larger city in the north with more in the way of tertiary industry, you might expect the gap to narrow, but this comparison with Manchester appears to show the opposite, with the average home in London currently costing over three times that of a Manchester home.

The other puzzling thing about the great north south divide is that nobody really knows exactly where the divide is supposed to be. The Midlands may be a logical place to draw the line, but others will tell you that The Watford Gap3 is the divide.

Essex:

Public opinion has not been kind to the inhabitants of Essex. The main evidence of this is the Essex Girl Joke. These are very popular in England, and generally suggest that women from Essex are of a somewhat loose moral standing. Other jokes hint at them not being particularly intelligent, and are generally the same jokes that are told across the world, but with "Essex Girl" substituted for "Blonde".

Newcastle:

Rationally, people from Newcastle are seen as Geordies. They have lots of make-up and wear a lot of fake tan. Their accent is very modern and comes across as quite rude. This differs from many other places as it keeps them apart.

London:

Chelsea

The Stereotype: The people who live here pronounce it ‘Chelski’. It’s so expensive that ‘Hooray Henrys’ and ‘sloaney ponies’ have been priced out of the area.

The area: Filled with glitzy trustfunders and designer shops. The kind of place you might see Will Young buying a vacuum cleaner in his pyjamas.

Price: £££££ A drop in the ocean if you’re mates with Richard Branson’s daughter, otherwise look east.

Dalston

The stereotype: Film students riding around on fixie bikes or some kind of emerging fashion designer wearing a kettle tied to her head. Plus, it’s the best place in London to go for a kebab.

The area: “Dalston is for people who can’t afford Hackney,” says Lewis. “People here are first- and second-job media types who are on not-so-massive salaries. They settle into their first apartment here after spending years in single wilderness.”

Price: ££ Dig deep, be hip.

Clapham

The stereotype: The Aussie community is shrinking as neighbouring Nappy Valley is expanding, but you’ll still find a few well-heeled ex-ravers here.

The area: “To be quite frank, Clapham is getting so public schooly now, it’s ridiculous,” says Lewis. “Balham is now exactly the same as Clapham. Same restaurants, same chains, same style.”

Price: £££ At a high.

Notting Hill

The stereotype: David Cameron’s old stomping ground has become a bit of a hub for art and business students with loaded parents (“usually new Chinese money or old French money,” according to Lewis).

The area: “You’ll get a room in a house here for £650-700 [a month],” explains Lewis, ”probably with people who are called ‘Boris’ and ‘Chantelle’”.

Price: ££££ Damn that soppy Hugh Grant movie.

 

 

 

Stoke Newington

The stereotype: Big on quinoa.

The area: There’s some kind of weird hippy force field around Church Street, the café and organic grocery hub of London, yet walk a few blocks and your bullet-proof vest no longer works.

Price: ££ Has a great village feel, but no Tube.

Camden

The stereotype: Tourists, Amy Winehouse fans and ageing former members of Nineties Britpop bands.

The area: “People hanging on to the sad remnants of London’s 1990s culture live around here,” says Lewis. “Anyone with any street cred has long gone. They’re now in Hackney or Dalston.”

Price: £££ Overpriced. Which, like seeing your mum dancing to Prodigy, is just a little bit wrong.

Brixton

The stereotype : Ravers and rioters.

The area: “It’s south London’s living-it-large capital,” claims Lewis. “It’s got so much from a music and clubbing point of view that the well-paid Australians are leaving Clapham and graduating here.”

Price: ££ Good value, good times.

Stratford

The stereotype: Actual poor people, who can’t afford its newer digs.

The area: Up-and-coming, but be warned it’s still rough around the edges. “However, further into Stratford is a good place to invest,” reckons Lewis.

Price: £££ The newly developed areas are pricey, but bargains can be found.

Wimbledon

The stereotype: Boring. Where rich people grow children.

The area: “The place where south Londoners want to live when they settle down, it’s full of yummy mummy bloggers and families that are fed up of the urban grind,” reckons Lewis.

Price: ££££ City suburbia is not cheap.

 

 

 

 

 

Soho

The stereotype: London’s kinky capital consists of sex club workers, media workers and successful gay men.

The area: “There are two types,” reckons Lewis, “one is West End media agency owners or senior partners who pay £500k for a fashionable rooftop one-bed or two-bed apartment. The other is the extremely underpaid serving staff who work at the nastier clubs.”

Price: ££££ Bright lights and very big bank balances.

The City

The stereotype: Nobody actually lives in the City, not even bankers.

The area: “There’s a small arts community in the teeth of the capitalist lion who work at the Barbican,” says Lewis. “Otherwise, it’s considered a rotten borough.”

Price: £££££ Ouch! And the pubs aren’t even open on weekends.